Omkar, My Older Brother

Omkar, my older brother here at Kalani, taught me a number of things.

Working with him on the landscaping team has been a gift for the map of my soul that is seeking knowledge and wisdom. Because Omkar is my older brother, and he cares for his little sister, I will try to follow his path of wisdom.

Omkar laughingly told me on more than one occasion that he spent thousands of dollars to attend seminars that taught him the following three things about human interactions on the planet earth:

1. Be direct with your intentions.

2. Be honest in communicating those intentions to others.

3. Don't be passive-aggressive.

Symptoms: passive-aggressive personality

People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.

A person with this disorder may appear to comply with another's wishes and may even demonstrate enthusiasm for them. However, the requested action is either performed too late to be helpful, performed in a way that is useless, or is otherwise sabotaged to express anger that cannot be expressed verbally.

Signs

Some of the common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:

• Procrastination
• Intentional inefficiency
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
• Complaining
• Blaming others
• Resentment
• Sullenness
• Fear of authority
• Resistance to suggestions from others
• Unexpressed anger or hostility

Source: Medicine Plus/ http://medlineplus.gov/
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000943.htm

I would add point number 4 to his list.

4. "We do the big escape: we act out, say something, slam a door, hit someone, or throw a pot as a way of not facing what's happening in our hearts. Or we shove the feelings under and somehow deaden the pain [with alcohol, sex, drugs...] We can spend our whole lives escaping the monsters in our minds."

- Pema Chodron

Turn around and face them!

In My Mind

Life Is About Falling Apart

Megan, my Kalani buddy and gentle companion, lent me Pema Chodron's book "When Things Fall Apart," and several passages bent my brain waves.

Because I am in a sharing mood, and the sky is clear on the south eastern coast of the island, I encourage you to indulge your very own mental sensations in these sticks of intellectual chewing gum.

"Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

"Not causing harm requires staying awake. Part of being awake is slowing down enough to notice what we say and do. The more we witness our emotional chain reactions and understand how they work, the easier it is to refrain. It becomes a way of life to stay awake, slow down, and notice."

Hula Anyone?

Hula class on Tuesday, Jan. 23, 2007 at Kalani

Yumiko and Lori: Yokohama and Ames

I love Yumiko's laugh.

Kalani's Healing Touch

Slow Down, Won't You Lori???

The people at the Kalani are mainly mellow, gentle, observant, introspective and mostly loving.

The vegetarian food is out of this world. I have never seen so much glowing skin in one location in my life, but vegan peanut butter cookies, spinach linguini and fresh papaya for breakfast every morning will transform the cheeks and mouth.

The rainy season makes me a bit reflective. Hearing the sound of powerful rain drops hit our tin roof in the loft is becoming a comfort and an expectation during the wee hours of the morning.

I am working on myself, and it takes courage to face some of my issues. I understand clearly how I hide behind writing assignments at work, a busy social schedule with buddies, and the never-ending tasks of life in my everyday world (taking out the garbage for example) in order to avoid understanding myself- flaws and internal scars included. It hurts to look closely at weaknesses in one's own being and then decide to make changes in life. This could be a full-time job.

It's funny to see new people arrive at Kalani who are still tense from the outside world's demands. After a few days, these folks tend to settle into the calming nature of the place.

I am sorry for the lack of focus in the post. The mind, it wanders as it wonders.

As an apology, I will leave you with this Nugget of Wisdom from Julia Cameron:

As artists, we must learn to be self-nourishing. We must become alert enough to consciously replenish our creative resources as we draw on them… The artist brain is home and haven to our best creative impulses.

"The Artist's Way"

I urge you to play with your artist brain some time soon.

Coqui Song

The rain falls on the tin roof in assorted rhythms and various volumes throughout the moist and dynamic night. When I peek out the bamboo blind at five o'clock in the morning, I see a sliver of moon pie illuminating the rain drops.

The male coqui frogs sing from dawn to daybreak- when they return to their nests for a well-deserved rest. Their song speaks of longing and desire for the slick flesh of the female form. Such a little frog to make such a long journey from Puerto Rico to an island in the Pacific, its new home.

I am in the jungle, so I am told, and the moist, humid days tell me the same story.

Tomorrow, I will begin working with the landscaping crew at Kalani and experience the tropical vegetation on the eastern side of the island of Hawaii first-hand.

Photo Credit:
http://www.vineland.org/history/pr_festival/coqui.htm

The Threat of Breast Milk in the Air

Familiarizing myself with the Transportation Security Administration online air travel rules and regulations on January 14, 2007 was a new and rather eye-opening experience for me. Listed under the permitted and prohibited items for airline travel, my fellow Americans, you will find the following items:

Permitted in checked bags.......in carry-on bags

Whipped Cream........................Whipped Cream
Billy Clubs..........................Prohibited
Brass Knuckles.......................Prohibited
Jell-O...............................Limited to 3 ounces
Cattle Prods.........................Prohibited
Saws (including cordless portable power saws)...Prohibited
Parts of guns and firearms...........Prohibited
Toothpaste...........................Limited to 3 ounces
BB Guns..............................Prohibited
Meat Cleavers........................Prohibited
Bubble Bath..........................Limited to 3 ounces

Concerned about breast milk affecting your national security in the air???

FYI

Breast milk is permitted in checked baggage.

Breast milk is allowed in a carry-on bag only if the passenger in possession of the breast milk is traveling with an infant or toddler.

Warning to all potential terrorists-

According to the Transportation and Security Administration’s Web site, breast milk will be inspected at airport security checkpoints.

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/prohibited/permitted-prohibited-items.shtm#0

Mom, Dad, Eris and the Big Joe Polka Show

Eris, Myron and Tracie journeyed to the sleepy hamlet of Humboldt, Iowa to say goodbye and spend the weekend with me on January 7, 2007. The highlight of Saturday night was dancing with Eris to a sleepy and swaying waltz played with a concertina on the Big Joe Polka Show. We danced until she drifted into her little girl sleep.

I made a huge pot of lentil soup for my guests, vegetarian of course, and we talked and munched into the night.

I am truly saddened that I may not be in Ames, Iowa for the birth of Myron and Tracie’s second daughter in May ’07.

I hope that the stars will align in a peaceful formation that will bring me back.

Aloha Diary: The Veg Semi-Buddhist in Paradise

The Hawaii diary is on its way!

Keep your toes dipping in the water and the waves massaging your calves until then. I am so ready to connect to people and separate from the computer, but I will be posting periodic Hawaii-happening updates! I miss intense human interaction, but I can't silence the impulse to write. I think that I am going to Hawaii to search for what my soul desires.

Excerpt from: The Mermaid Chair

…his soul
It was trying to tell him something.
He was certain of it.
One thing he had learned is how incessantly the soul tried to speak up, usually in maddeningly cryptic ways.

In his dreams

In the jumble of impressions and feelings he got when he was alone

And, occasionally in the symptoms in his body- the way he broke out in hives when his soul was denied.

Nowhere though did his soul speak more insistently than through desire.

Sometimes the heart also wanted what the soul demanded.