Omkar, My Older Brother

Omkar, my older brother here at Kalani, taught me a number of things.

Working with him on the landscaping team has been a gift for the map of my soul that is seeking knowledge and wisdom. Because Omkar is my older brother, and he cares for his little sister, I will try to follow his path of wisdom.

Omkar laughingly told me on more than one occasion that he spent thousands of dollars to attend seminars that taught him the following three things about human interactions on the planet earth:

1. Be direct with your intentions.

2. Be honest in communicating those intentions to others.

3. Don't be passive-aggressive.

Symptoms: passive-aggressive personality

People with this disorder resent responsibility and show it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.

A person with this disorder may appear to comply with another's wishes and may even demonstrate enthusiasm for them. However, the requested action is either performed too late to be helpful, performed in a way that is useless, or is otherwise sabotaged to express anger that cannot be expressed verbally.

Signs

Some of the common signs of passive-aggressive personality disorder include:

• Procrastination
• Intentional inefficiency
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
• Complaining
• Blaming others
• Resentment
• Sullenness
• Fear of authority
• Resistance to suggestions from others
• Unexpressed anger or hostility

Source: Medicine Plus/ http://medlineplus.gov/
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000943.htm

I would add point number 4 to his list.

4. "We do the big escape: we act out, say something, slam a door, hit someone, or throw a pot as a way of not facing what's happening in our hearts. Or we shove the feelings under and somehow deaden the pain [with alcohol, sex, drugs...] We can spend our whole lives escaping the monsters in our minds."

- Pema Chodron

Turn around and face them!