Ouch: Words Hurt

The Word Continuum


Words have the ability to soothe, excite, subdue and/or execute the human spirit.

As a journalist and enthusiastic Scrabble player, words are my trade and hobby. I realize the potential of A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y to draw blood when they smoothly and concisely couple with their consonant companions can be devastating.

It is easy to verbally stumble when we forget that our nouns and verbs penetrate the emotions of others. Our sentences have the authority to heal, cajole and/or torture the psyches of our readers.

Sadly for me, I recently waterboarded a friend with several reactionary paragraphs.

It is a long story, but to summarize the disaster, the two of us had been wallowing in a pattern of dysfunctional behavior for some time. Despite my hope to modify the destructive energy in the air, communication between us took a turn into the neighborhood of irreparable damage in late October/early November 2007.

As a woman who practices Buddhism, I am aware that we are all able to make major changes in harmful behavior patterns in our lives, a vicious communication cycle between man and woman was the problem in our situation. Dr. Andrew Weil, a graduate of Harvard Medical School and practitioner of alternative medicine, believes that when we have established negative patterns of behavior with other human beings and with ourselves, it is possible to use self-awareness to reverse the devastation and mayhem. I believe this too, but the reversal process into the light involves a commitment on both sides, a commitment to understanding why the undesired behavior is happening and replacing darkness and turmoil with luminosity and fresh air. I would have appreciated the opportunity to work together with this man in order to begin the healing process, but I don't think he wants the same thing.

I have lived, learned and currently remind myself daily to heed the advice of Sophocles, a dramatist who was familiar with the intimacy of tragedy. When our words threaten to destroy the bonds that connect us to others:

"Hush! Check those words. Do not cure ill with ill and make your pain still heavier than it is."