Struggling To Be Certain

I have been exploring the various ways intimacy has been defined in my day to day life. One expression of the concept happened in the year 2000 when I was working as an ESL teacher at a community college in Iowa. Supporting a debutante poet as she translated her words from Japanese to English brought us together in a delicate intellectual conference. As an assistant to the linguistic transformation, the poet trusted me with her filtered impressions of life as a Japanese exchange student in small town Iowa: kanji; katakana; hiragana; and the Latin alphabet (rōmaji).

I Am Standing in a Foreign Land

Author: Madoka Tazuke

I was here but,

there was no sound.

There was only darkness.

The air was very heavy

like something pulling on my heart.

I listen to the sound of nothingness.

The air envelops me

in its quiet, heavy embrace.

I am struggling to be certain

of my existence.

I saw her and the feeling of anxiety

came over me.

I was uneasy because of the sudden confusion of

my identity.

The eyes were like a powerful wave

washing over me and carrying me to sea.

At that time, I thought

What is this wave?

Am I true?

Or, is she true?

Did I see her?

Or, did she see me?

And, I am standing in a foreign land.

Like she is standing there.

Hills Review: A Journal of Poetry, Spring 2000