Looking for free online books today, I happened to notice that The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana by Vatsyayana was the number one e-book for the past seven days on Project Gutenberg. Of course, curiosity got the best of me as it always does, and I started to read. I wondered to myself about the Kinds of Union described in the text.
Man is divided into three classes, viz., the hare man, the bull man, andthe horse man, according to the size of his lingam.
Woman also, according to the depth of her yoni, is either a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant.
The deer sounds the most feminine, and according to the text, if the depth of my yoni were like a female deer, I would be paired with the male hare. Preferable to the bull or horse was my thought.
DEDICATED
TO THAT SMALL PORTION OF THE BRITISH PUBLIC
WHICH TAKES ENLIGHTENED INTEREST IN
STUDYING THE MANNERS AND CUSTOMS
OF THE OLDEN EAST.
BE WARNED DEAR READERS: The various modes of enjoyment are not for all times or for all persons, but they should only be used at the proper time, and in the proper countries and places.
The Project Gutenberg E-Book of The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana, by Vatsyayan
Author: Vatsyayana Translator: Richard Burton Bhagavanlal Indrajit Shivaram Parashuram Bhide Release Date: January 18, 2009 [EBook #27827]
Therefore Vatsyayana is of opinion that there are only four kinds of Nayikas, i.e., the maid, the twice married woman, the public woman, and the woman resorted to for a special purpose.
The following women are not to be enjoyed:—
A leper.
A lunatic.
A woman turned out of caste.
A woman who reveals secrets.
A woman who publicly expresses desire for sexual intercourse.
A woman who is extremely white.
A woman who is extremely black.
A bad-smelling woman.
A woman who is a near relation.
A woman who is a female friend.
A woman who leads the life of an ascetic.
And, lastly, the wife of a relation, of a friend, of a learned Brahman, and of the king.
The followers of Babhravya say that any woman who has been enjoyed by five men is a fit and proper person to be enjoyed. But Gonikaputra is of opinion that even when this is the case, the wives of a relation, of a learned Brahman and of a king should be excepted..
On the different kinds of Love.
Men learned in the humanities are of opinion that love is of four kinds, viz.:
1. Love acquired by continual habit.
2. Love resulting from the imagination.
3. Love resulting from belief.
4. Love resulting from the perception of external objects.
Now the embrace which indicates the mutual love of a man and woman who have come together is of four kinds, viz.:
Touching.
Piercing.
Rubbing.
Pressing.
[46]The action in each case is denoted by the meaning of the word which stands for it.
(1). When a man under some pretext or other goes in front or alongside of a woman and touches her body with his own, it is called the "touching embrace."
(2). When a woman in a lonely place bends down, as if to pick up something, and pierces, as it were, a man sitting or standing, with her breasts, and the man in return takes hold of them, it is called a "piercing embrace."
The above two kinds of embrace takes place only between persons who do not, as yet, speak freely with each other.
(3). When two lovers are walking slowly together, either in the dark, or in a place of public resort, or in a lonely place, and rub their bodies against each other, it is called a "rubbing embrace."
(4). When on the above occasion one of them presses the other's body forcibly against a wall or pillar, it is called a "pressing embrace."
These two last embraces are peculiar to those who know the intentions of each other.
At the time of the meeting the four following kinds of embrace are used, viz.:
Jataveshtitaka, or the twining of a creeper.
Vrikshadhirudhaka, or climbing a tree.
Tila-Tandulaka, or the mixture of sesamum seed with rice.
Kshiraniraka, or milk and water embrace.
(1). When a woman, clinging to a man as a creeper twines round a tree, bends his head down to hers with the desire of kissing him and slightly makes the sound of sut sut, embraces him, and looks lovingly towards him, it is called an embrace like the "twining of a creeper."
(2). When a woman, having placed one of her feet on the foot of her lover, and the other on one of his thighs, passes one of her arms round his back, and the other on his shoulders, makes slightly the sounds of singing and cooing, and wishes, as it were, to climb up him in order to have a kiss, it is called an embrace like the "climbing of a tree."
These two kinds of embrace take place when the lover is standing.
(3). When lovers lie on a bed, and embrace each other so[47] closely that the arms and thighs of the one are encircled by the arms and thighs of the other, and are, as it were, rubbing up against them, this is called an embrace like "the mixture of sesamum seed with rice."
(4). When a man and a woman are very much in love with each other, and not thinking of any pain or hurt, embrace each other as if they were entering into each other's bodies, either while the woman is sitting on the lap of the man or in front of him, or on a bed, then it is called an embrace like a "mixture of milk and water."
These two kinds of embrace take place at the time of sexual union.
Babhravya has thus related to us the above eight kinds of embraces.
The following are the different kinds of biting, viz.:
The hidden bite.
The swollen bite.
The point.
The line of points.
The coral and the jewel.
The line of jewels.
The broken cloud.
The biting of the boar.
(1). The biting which is shown only by the excessive redness of the skin that is bitten, is called the "hidden bite."
(2). When the skin is pressed down on both sides, it is called the "swollen bite."
(3). When a small portion of the skin is bitten with two teeth only, it is called the "point."
(4). When such small portions of the skin are bitten with all the teeth, it is called the "line of points."
(5). The biting which is done by bringing together the[56] teeth and the lips, is called the "coral and the jewel." The lip is the coral, and the teeth the jewel.
(6). When biting is done with all the teeth, it is called the "line of jewels."
(7). The biting which consists of unequal risings in a circle, and which comes from the space between the teeth, is called the "broken cloud." This is impressed on the breasts.
(8). The biting which consists of many broad rows of marks near to one another, and with red intervals, is called the "biting of a boar." This is impressed on the breasts and the shoulders; and these two last modes of biting are peculiar to persons of intense passion.
The lower lip is the place on which the "hidden bite," the "swollen bite," and the "point" are made; again the "swollen bite," and the "coral and the jewel" bite are done on the cheek. Kissing, pressing with the nails, and biting are the ornaments of the left cheek, and when the word cheek is used it is to be understood as the left cheek.
Both the "line of points" and the "line of jewels" are to be impressed on the throat, the arm pit, and the joints of the thighs; but the "line of points" alone is to be impressed on the forehead and the thighs.
The marking with the nails, and the biting of the following things, viz., an ornament of the forehead, an ear ornament, a bunch of flowers, a betel leaf, or a tamala leaf, which are worn by, or belong to the woman that is beloved, are signs of the desire of enjoyment.
Here end the different kinds of biting.
In the affairs of love a man should do such things as are agreeable to the women of different countries.
Sexual intercourse can be compared to a quarrel, on account of the contrarieties of love and its tendency to dispute. The place of striking with passion is the body, and on the body the special places are:
The shoulders.
The head.
The space between the breasts.
The back.
The jaghana, or middle part of the body.
The sides.
Striking is of four kinds, viz.:
Striking with the back of the hand.
Striking with the fingers a little contracted.
Striking with the fist.
Striking with the open palm of the hand.
On account of its causing pain, striking gives rise to the hissing sound, which is of various kinds, and to the eight kinds of crying, viz.:
The sound Hin.
The thundering sound.
The cooing sound..
The weeping sound.
The sound Phut.
The sound Phât.
The sound Sût.
The sound Plât.
Besides these, there are also words having a meaning, such as "mother," and those that are expressive of prohibition, sufficiency, desire of liberation, pain or praise, and to which may be added sounds like those of the dove, the cuckoo, the green pigeon, the parrot, the bee, the sparrow, the flamingo, the duck, and the quail, which are all occasionally made use of.
[64]Blows with the fist should be given on the back of the woman, while she is sitting on the lap of the man, and she should give blows in return, abusing the man as if she were angry, and making the cooing and the weeping sounds. While the woman is engaged in congress the space between the breasts should be struck with the back of the hand, slowly at first, and then proportionately to the increasing excitement, until the end.
Such passionate actions and amorous gesticulations or movements, which arise on the spur of the moment, and during sexual intercourse, cannot be defined, and are as irregular as dreams. A horse having once attained the fifth degree of motion goes on with blind speed, regardless of pits, ditches, and posts in his way; and in the same manner a loving pair become blind with passion in the heat of congress, and go on with great impetuosity, paying not the least regard to excess. For this reason one who is well acquainted with the science of love, and knowing his own strength, as also the tenderness, impetuosity, and strength of the young woman, should act accordingly. The various modes of enjoyment are not for all times or for all persons, but they should only be used at the proper time, and in the proper countries and places.
The signs of the enjoyment and satisfaction of the women are as follows: her body relaxes, she closes her eyes, she puts aside all bashfulness, and shows increased willingness to unite the two organs as closely together as possible. On the other hand, the signs of her want of enjoyment and of failing to be satisfied are as follows: she shakes her hands, she does not let the man get up, feels dejected, bites the man, kicks him, and continues to go on moving after the man has finished. In such cases the man should rub the yoni of the woman with his hand and fingers (as the elephant rubs anything with his trunk) before engaging in congress, until it is softened, and after that is done he should proceed to put his lingam into her.
Souvenirs from the heart or should I say the toilet? Enjoy this YouTube video How to Free a Clogged Toilet. Thank goodness my earthy green plunger, which it turns out after viewing the video- is actually for unclogging sinks, is still in its virginal state. May it remain intact forever! 
