Travel Beyond

Leo’s horoscope for May 12, 2009 and every day:

When you hit the road, you feel like a free spirit- liberated, a rebel on the move. This is true even if you're just going to the grocery store; however, your stars support you in traveling far beyond.

Inner Children Emerge

Pathogenic Beliefs and Sex
LJR - May 7, 2009

American culture relegates sexual fantasies to wayward and wicked categories labeled as naughty, pornographic, or even too obscene to articulate, yet sexual fantasies- when revealed and investigated- can often help men and women understand themselves on a deeper level.

Dr. Michael J. Bader’s book, Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies, proposes that sexual fantasies are not simply about sex. By analyzing the sexual fantasies of his patients in psychoanalysis, Bader explores the significance of the sex fantasy and the sex act and their connections to managing insecurities and fears that arise for couples in intimate relationships.

We are all flawed and fearful children at heart- and at certain uncomfortable moments- inner boys and girls decide to throw colorful tantrums. These tantrums are even more likely to occur when we have sex.

Naked and vulnerable, we are exposed.

By showing compassion to ourselves and others in regard to understanding human sexual fantasies, we acknowledge our childhood baggage, baggage that often inhibits us from experiencing sexual pleasure.

Here are some excerpts from Bader’s book that shed light on a subject that has been kept in the dark for too long.

People use all the resources at their disposal to defend themselves against and transcend painful childhood beliefs.

Sexual fantasies illuminate and explain non-sexual problems that we are having.

…to the extent that earlier parental relationships contained elements of worry, guilt and shame (which most of our childhoods did), those feelings will enter our love life even more than they would most other aspects of our lives.

Nowhere are adults more dependent than in the relationship they have with their partners, and at no other time was this dependency as strong as it was in childhood. Therefore, the normal emotional dependency in long-term relationships inevitably contains echoes of these earlier attachments. There is an old joke that says when two people have sex, there are six people in the bed: the two lovers and the parents of each of them… intimate sexual relationships necessarily open the psychic doors to the repetition of our own original parent-child relationship.

Sexual compatibility is determined by the extent to which our pathogenic beliefs negate or reinforce those of our partner- and vice versa. And it is in intimate sexual relationships that our pathogenic beliefs about ourselves and others have the most direct opportunity to be confirmed or disproved… Our sexual partners, therefore, have to perform the same function as sexual fantasies, namely, to establish the conditions of safety necessary to allow sexual excitement to emerge.

Bader’s definition of love/chemistry/sexual compatibility is not at all poetic or idealistic.

With his new definition in mind, the lyrics to a famous Beatles’ song change slightly.

“All you need is love” becomes: “All you really need is someone to negate your pathogenic beliefs.”

A revision to Shakespeare’s lines in the comedy “Love's Labour's Lost” would look something like this.

And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Makes heaven drowsy with the harmony.

And when Love speaks, the voice of inner children
Makes earth secure with fears put to rest.

Bader goes on to say that:

Human beings cannot tolerate helplessness for very long. They [either] shut down, fight back, or find some way to pretend it doesn’t exist.

The reason people resist change is not because they’re deriving gratification from being sick, but because they’re trying to ensure their own psychological safety.

According to Bader’s professional experience with his patients, satisfying sexual experiences involve establishing a sense of psychological safety in the bedroom for everyone involved. Reinforcing a partner’s negative, painful, pathogenic beliefs does not lead to first-class sex; it only leads to more shame, guilt and unhappiness.

This book led me to ask myself the honest question: What do I need from a partner to feel psychological safe?

Sorting out and exploring our sexual fantasies is a wholesome step in the process of identifying what we need in order to establish safe and intimate relationships both inside and outside the bedroom.

Sexual fantasies are not all about sex.

Bader, Michael. Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies. St. Martin’s Press, 2002.

Seymour's First Video / (My cat thinks he's a film star!)

I do believe I have uploaded my first blog-posted home movie of my cat Seymour enjoying some good loving. Last night, I wanted to re-acquaint myself with my Mac camera and iMovie, so this video is the result. Seymour says hello to all his adoring feline and human fans: Meow!

Find Me

Visit The Tricycle Community

[I must admit, it was fun making my first badge even if the badge is a small bit of advertising for the magazine.]

Why do some guys do this on a date?

Setting: The lobby of a movie theater

Characters: A man and a woman wait. They are on their second date.

Exposition: The pair arrive early for a movie and decide to wait in the lobby and eat some popcorn. The man is on-call and must have his phone turned on during the film.

Dialogue:

Man: "Oh, I should set my phone to vibrate."
Woman: "That's a good idea."
Man: [Turns his phone to vibrate and puts it in his pocket. Smiles luridly and says:] "I lodged it up next to my sensitive bits."
Woman Thinking: [I will never go out with him again.]

Do you know about Zoom?

If you search your own name on Zoom:

http://www.zoominfo.com/

you may be surprised by what you find: I know I was.

When I entered my name, I found a three jobs listed on my employment history with a photo attached of me taken informally when I was enjoying my time in Hawaii. The information in the Zoom profile included some of my past employment history and was unclaimed, which meant that anyone who wanted to claim my history and photo could have logged in to the site and done just that.

I don't like the idea that information about me, including a photo, is let loose on the Internet when I am unaware of its existence.

Is this legal? I claimed my information on Zoom, but wasn't sure if I wanted it published. I didn't have a choice in the matter.

How does this happen? I am concerned.

Birth Control Malfunction

20 to 29 year-olds at risk
LJR – April 24, 2009

About half of all pregnancies in the United States each year are unintended according to a February 2009 report from the Guttmacher Institute.

This means that more than three million pregnancies in America each year are a surprise.

The last U.S. census found that seven out of 10 unintended pregnancies happen in young women between the ages of 20 and 29 according to a National Public Radio report on “Why Accidents (The Pregnant Kind) Happen.”

The average heterosexual American woman who wants only two children spends about 30 years of her life concerned with avoiding an unwanted pregnancy.

The intellectual process of choosing to be responsible about reproductive health involves wading through a list of oral contraceptive side effects that include bleeding between periods, breast tenderness, nausea and vomiting and weight gain.

The vaginal ring is left in place for three weeks and then removed the last week of the month.

Pills must be taken daily, often at the same time, while the relatively new implant Implanon is about the size of a cardboard matchstick and inserted under the skin of the woman’s upper arm.

The cervical cap is a silicone cap shaped like a sailor’s hat, as described by the Planned Parenthood Web site, and is inserted into the vagina and over the cervix.

The Guttmacher Institute, which studies sexual and reproductive health worldwide, also reported that of the 66.4 million American women of reproductive age (13–44) in 2006, more than half (36.2 million) were in need of contraceptive supplies and services.

Why don’t men have an equal smorgasbord of pregnancy prevention options to protect their partner from an unwanted pregnancy?

A vasectomy/reverse vasectomy for men who wanted to start a family would be an ideal family planning choice from the female perspective, but get real. It’s clear that American society and the medical establishment expect women to be the responsible party in the bedroom.

While I believe in taking ownership of my sexuality, I can only imagine a culture that supports my decision. My vision would look something like this.

It’s a sunny morning when Americans wake up to discover that societal norms regarding sexuality have been transformed. A non-coercive, non-exploitive, mutually agreed upon creative exploration of body, mind and spirit occurs only when people freely agree they are ready for sexual intercourse.

The process of agreeing involves taking responsibility for a partner’s physical and mental wellbeing and selecting a form of birth control together. Parents, friends, churches, the state and the medical establishment all play a supporting role.

Contraceptives are provided to all women and men at pharmacies across the nation at an affordable price and with a smile. There is no shame in purchasing a pack of condoms or emergency contraception.

Alcohol and drugs are used to enhance sexual experiences of responsible couples- not as substances imbibed to promote anonymous drunken hook-ups leading to unwanted pregnancies and STDs. In other words, sexual decisions are made with sound minds and full and honest disclosures. All details of encounters are remembered in the morning.

Abortion is available at all hospitals in the nation and viewed as a normal medical procedure. Doctors who perform abortions are respected. Women feel safe and supported if they choose the procedure.

All men and women are encouraged to keep condoms, lubricant and emergency contraception in the medicine cabinet when they reach reproductive age.

The vast majority of upstanding American citizens realize that religious dogma and abstinence education do not prevent young adult pregnancies. Citizens of all ages are educated about their bodies.

The cultural mindset that reserves sex for marriage disappears.

Judging people because they engage in a normal and pleasurable human behavior is now a thing of the past.

Men and women are socially empowered to practice safe and responsible sex.

Most Precious

I enjoy reading "Tricycle" magazine. The magazine staff blurbs all the soy-meaty parts of books I don't have time to read.

The Buddha said that once we realize that we are the closest and most precious person on Earth to ourselves, we will stop treating ourselves as an enemy. This practice dissolves in us any wish we might have to harm ourselves or others.

–Thich Nhat Hanh, from Teachings on Love (Parallax Press)

Art Washes Away the Dust

"That which is static and repetitive is boring.
That which is dynamic and random is confusing.
In between lies art."

- John A. Locke (1632-1704)
English Philosopher

"Shall I tell you what I think are the two qualities of a work of art?
First, it must be the indescribable,
and second, it must be inimitable."

- Pierre Auguste Renoir (1841-1914)
French Impressionist

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."

- Pablo Picasso (1881-1973)
Spanish Artist

"We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form of truth."

- John F. Kennedy (1917-1963)
U. S. President (Oct. 26, 1963)

[I was surfing on the Iowa Area Education Agency (AEA) Discovery Education Streaming web site, when I came across a critical thinking lesson plan titled: "What is Art?" The activity and questions in that lesson plan generate multiple answers and diverse perspectives, a refreshing approach to stimulating the mind. I found the quotes I'm posting titillating.]

Practice Some Metta in Your Life

I joined a community of Buddhist-minded spirits who also enjoy reading "Tricycle" magazine. Lewis Richmond, the leader of the Aging as a Spiritual Practice online discussion group I joined, sent this message to the members. What a great way to begin the week!

As promised, I would like to suggest a spiritual practice for this week, a form of Metta, or Friendliness, practice appropriate to our developing online Sangha. First of all, a little background: Metta (friendliness) is one of four compassion practices common to all schools of Buddhism. These are Friendliness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity. Metta can be practiced in various ways, but the way originally recommended by the Buddha in the Metta Sutta is an aspiration prayer whose simplest form is:

May I be happy
May each of us be happy
May all beings be happy

It is important and significant that you address and include yourself in the prayer. You are a being too, and the happiness you seek is the same as the happiness all beings seek.

I also encourage you to smile (or half smile) before and after you recite the prayer. Every Buddhist statue is smiling; there are no frowning Buddhas. Smiling itself is a venerable spiritual practice, as taught by Thich Nhat Hanh and others. We practice not just with words, but with the body.

Try to do this once a day for the next week.

Let’s see what happens! (that was another of the Buddha’s spiritual instructions, in the Kalama Sutta).

-Lewis

Practicing friendliness can make this universe of ours a more blissful place. If you want to join the community, here is the link.

http://community.tricycle.com/

Tricycle Community

Wallflowers Make Me Cry

Book Review: The Perks of Being a Wallflower, by Stephen Chbosky, Pocket Books: 1999

Multiple Stars

The Perks of Being a Wallflower made me cry. Charlie often cried, and I liked this about his teenage male character. He was ultra-sensitive to his connections to people and the world, and he brought me- as a reader- into his mental space. Charlie took me back to my own high school years and the pain of trying to navigate a world filled with insecurity and self-doubt. Charlie's letters said to the reader that no one is alone with pain, anguish, uncertainty and self-loathing. We all experience these emotions even if we won't admit it. Through an intuitive link to Charlie’s written world, I could empathize with human suffering and our need to question the meaning of life and its purpose. Sadly, adults go through the same motions.

The opportunity to explore young adult literature has opened my eyes to different forms of writing that authors use to tease out themes and exposed me to the vulnerability of body, voice and mind oozing from teenage characters. My literary hero for today is Charlie, the wallflower.

November 12, 1991

Dear Friend,

I love Twinkies, and the reason I am saying that is because we are all supposed to think of reasons to live...

Love always,
Charlie

Truth according to LJR

Life is managed; Life is NOT solved.

I tell myself this every morning as I set out to manage the challenges that are waiting for me- sometimes in ambush, sometimes in plain sight- and then off I go.

Balancing past, present and future

[Lately I have been thinking about our connections to the past- its hand in the meaningful shaping of who we are in the world today. That's why this reading hit the intellectual and spiritual hot spots in my brain and collided pleasantly with some of these thoughts.]

Grow Forward

Growth means not only continual change and transformation, but also continuity; and it is this continuity that gives an aim and sense to change and transformation. Continuity cannot be achieved by clinging to the past or what is transitory, but only through the conscious direction of our forward march, in which, out of the organic connection with the past, there grows an understanding of the present and a meaningful shaping of the future.

–Lama Anagarika Govinda, from Buddhist Reflections (Weiser)

Celebrate National Poetry Month

Now is the month for readers, public library patrons, school kids, and poets around the country to intellectually dance and sing the praises of poetry.

Because, in 1996, the Academy of American Poets crowned April National Poetry Month!

I pulled this poem out of a bowl at the public library. The note attached to the bowl said:

"Help yourself to a poem..."

What a great idea. I would encourage you to do the same.

APRIL RAIN SONG

Let the rain kiss you.
Let the rain beat upon your head with silver liquid drops.
Let the rain sing you a lullaby.

The rain makes still pools on the sidewalk.
The rain makes running pools in the gutter.
The rain plays a little sleep-song on our roof at night-

And I love the rain.

- Langston Hughes

Oh, This Moment

This Moment: I am always struggling with this moment.

Dharma practice means dealing with what is happening in our mind at this moment. Instead of dreaming of conquering future attachment, let’s deal with the craving we have right now. Rather than drowning in fears of the future, let’s be aware of the fear occurring right now and investigate it.

–Thubten Chodron, from Taming the Mind (Snow Lion Publications)

Emotional Closure

Forgiving the Son; Forgiving the Self

Jay McGraw, the author of the self-help book Life Strategies for Teens, had almost no professional credentials he could tap into while writing his book about how to assist teens cope with life’s traumas other than his family ties.

His father is Philip C. McGraw, a.k.a. Dr. Phil.

Despite that fact, I did find some redeeming concepts in the chapter "Life Law Nine: There is Power in Forgiveness."

Here is a passage worth sharing from the book.

“The best thing for you is to forgive. When you forgive a person, you thrive in spite of him or her. You blossom. As the old saying goes, ‘Living well is the best revenge.’ You are the only person who has to know about this forgiveness because this is something that takes place within you and for you.”

McGraw goes on to write that, “What you want is emotional closure. You want to be able to say honestly that you have no unfinished emotional business left with the people you have been focused on. To be really free, you have to forgive.”

When anger, hurt or resentment flow out of human hearts: love, forgiveness, light, hope and optimism flood in to take their place. I'm nurtured with all the emotional vitamins and minerals my body craves. The warmth of sunshine physically floods me with this positive energy, and I like to visualize upbeat life forces charging through my veins when the sun’s rays penetrate my skin.

I feel really free today!

Light Bulbs from Life Law Nine - Paraphrased by LJR

1. Realize that emotional wounds scar like physical wounds.
2. Remember that withdrawing emotionally can affect you physically.
3. To hold on to previous hurt poisons all potential relationships.
4. Forgiveness is a choice that is beneficial to you.

Underpinnings of the Global Economic Crisis

Reflections on the spiritual underpinnings of the global economic crisis
April 3, 2009 - LJR


In Christian Sunday schools across the United States, boys and girls learn a golden rule from the Book of Luke that goes something like this: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Simple and concise, but do most world religions, including Christianity, lack spiritual direction on how to incorporate ethical practices and moral principles into the workplace?

Host of American Public Media’s radio program Speaking of Faith, Krista Tippett, interviewed eight experts working in the fields of religion, science, industry and the arts on the subject of the spiritual underpinnings of the global economic crisis.

Swiss banker, Hindu, and follower of Jesus, Prabhu Guptara, and religious historian, Martin Marty, encouraged listeners to examine Christianity’s role in capitalistic corporate America and to explore the disconnect between Christian morals and the American business model.

Both Guptara and Marty emphasized that many world religions, including Christianity, lack spiritual guidelines for incorporating morality, integrity and ethics into the workplace. In other words, Christianity united with the capitalistic economic system practiced in the United States, will not generate an ideal climate for facilitating a prosperous and healthy social and economic global environment.

Due to the decisions made in large part by businesses in the United States, over 53 million people living in poverty worldwide are experiencing the added pain of coping with the devastating effects of a global recession according to a February 12, 2009 report from the World Bank.

“New estimates for 2009 suggest that lower economic growth rates will trap 46 million more people on less than $1.25 a day than was expected prior to the crisis. An extra 53 million will stay trapped on less than $2 a day. This is on top of the 130-155 million people pushed into poverty in 2008 because of soaring food and fuel prices,” the World Bank report states.

Christian teachings stress the glory and jubilation wealthy businesspeople are supposed to experience in heaven if they provide for less fortunate members of their community here on earth. Yet these teachings seem to be forgotten in corporate offices and daily business decision-making practices in the United States when blue-collar jobs and pensions are cut drastically while corporate executives’ bonuses are paid religiously and without fail.

Valuing companies on the basis of their economic fundamentals without regard for human consequences is taught in nearly every MBA program across the country. It’s a principle that’s solidly hardwired into America’s economic belief system- a belief system that goes unquestioned until a mortgage crisis ensues and confidence levels in Wall Street crumble.

The bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers and the near collapse of investment bank Bear Stearns were a product of greed and excess in the Christian nation of the United States. A worldwide recession is the price the global community must pay for linking their economies to the American business model, a model that operates on promoting self-interest and profit motives as guiding belief structures.

The 2009 annual meeting of the United Nation’s Commission on the Status of Women focused on the global economic downturn and its impact on women worldwide. Some participants at the conference said the financial crisis could undo ten years of progress in a single year.

This is because women in Asia, Africa and Latin America are often the first to be fired during a recession when global demand for textiles and imported goods decreases in countries such as the United States, Europe and Japan. Incidents of domestic abuse and violence against women also increase as financial worries play out brutally on the home front.

The Lord states in the Book of Jeremiah that he will send his destroyers to punish evil rulers and unjust kings because woe is the price leaders will pay if they build their palaces through unrighteous and unjust means.

Thus commands the Lord in Jeremiah 22:3, “Do justice and righteousness, and deliver the one who has been robbed from the power of his oppressor. Also, do not mistreat or do violence to the stranger, the orphan or the widow…”

The Christian God punishes but also forgives, so if this is the case, will God forgive repenting chief financial officers and managers of investment banks for their sins?

According to “The Tibetan Book of the Dead” published by Shambhala Publications, “The concept of sin, for instance, is inevitably associated with original sin, guilt, and punishment, which have no place in most Eastern teachings. Instead, Buddhism looks for the basic cause of sin and suffering, and discovers this to be the belief in a self or ego as the centre of existence. This belief is caused not by innate evil [that simplistic Western dichotomy between good and evil that defines sin] but by unconsciousness, or ignorance of the true nature of existence.”

World religions and spiritual teachings provide powerful tools for deconstructing and critically questioning American business practices rooted in ego, greed, and an unquenchable desire for material possessions. Whether we use these spiritual tools to critique a faulty economic system that got us into this financial mess in the first place or ignore these tools altogether is left to personal choice.

Trapeze Me Sliver Please: I Want to Fly

“A Silver Trapeze” by Alice Schertle

A silver trapeze of my own: I dream of it nightly.
A slim silver bar at the end of a rope I seize
and am lifted, carried, I’m flying above the ground lightly.
A silver trapeze.

Down and around and up on the crest of a breeze
I swoop, I soar through a cloud, hesitate slightly,
then loop the loop like a pinwheel and hang from my knees.

Up through space I race on a bar shining brightly,
touch the tip of a star whenever I please,
kick off from the moon, sweep soundlessly down, holding tightly
a silver trapeze.

Why Does Romance Happen in the Dark?

Why Does Romance Happen in the Dark?

[I am trying to live in reality in romance and in my life! This passage reminds me to be self-aware.]


Why is it that romance happens in a darkly lit nightclub, or at an intimate dinner by candlelight, or at night under the moonlight? It is because, in those situations, you can’t see all her pimples, or his false teeth. But under candlelight, our imagination is free to fantasize that the girl sitting opposite could be a supermodel, or the man has the looks of a movie star. We love to fantasize, and we fantasize to love. At least we should know what we’re doing.

–Ajahn Brahm, from Opening the Door of Your Heart (Lothian Books)
March 19, 2009
Tricycle's Daily Dharma

"Landscape with Flatiron" from After the Quake

That Bewitched and Enchanted Space Between Imagination and Intellect

Presenting ideas through language is something individual writers conjure first in that bewitched and enchanted space between imagination and intellect. The result is a sentence, paragraph or story that becomes a roadmap for leading readers to revelations regarding partially developed thoughts or fully blooming memories churning within.

Haruki Murakami’s short story “Landscape with Flatiron” opened a memory inside of me, an orange and glowing memory of fire builders and bonfires crackling on humid nights in the Field of Dreams on the big island of Hawai’i.

If you search for the Field of Dreams on Google maps, you won’t find it in the middle of the Pacific. It’s a place within a place on an island in a chain of islands.

The Field of Dreams is an open field at the Kalani Oceanside Retreat where volunteers go to talk, relax and gaze into crackling bonfires that have been slowly and precisely built and tended by the men of the landscaping and maintenance departments, burly men with strapping chests and sun-kissed skin. In the sky, the stars perform their nightly dance on twinkling toes as the human beings below spin and twirl to the night’s tropical beat.

In “Landscape with Flatiron,” Murakami explores the social significance of community bonfires, places where people have gathered for centuries to feel the comfort of knowing they were part of something bigger than just themselves. Junko, a young woman in the story, describes standing in front of the fire like this:

“The spread of the flames was soft and gentle, like an expert caress, with nothing rough or hurried about it- their only purpose was to warm people’s hearts. Junko never said much in the presence of the fire. She hardly moved. The flames accepted all things in silence, drank them in, understood, and forgave. A family, a real family, was probably like this, she thought.”

At the same time, Murakami interprets the meaning of fire for human survival when the character, Junko, recalls reading the short story “To Build a Fire” by Jack London.

“As usual, Junko thought about Jack London’s “To Build a Fire.” It was the story of a man traveling alone through the snowy Alaskan interior and his attempts to light a fire. He would freeze to death unless he could make it catch. The sun was going down. Junko hadn’t read much fiction, but that one short story she had read again and again, ever since her teacher had assigned it as an essay topic during the summer vacation of her first year of high school. The scene of the story would always come vividly to mind as she read. She could feel the man’s fear and hope and despair as if they were her own; she could sense the very pounding of his heart as he hovered on the brink of death. Most important of all, though, was the fact that the man was fundamentally longing for death. She knew that for sure. She couldn’t explain how she knew, but she knew it from the start. Death was really what he wanted. He knew that it was the right ending for him. And yet he had to go on fighting with all his might. He had to fight against an overwhelming adversary in order to survive. What most shocked Junko was this deep-rooted contradiction.”

As we all know, human beings are large, walking, talking bundles of contradictory energy, but when we come together around a well-tended fire on a warm island night, the beauty of community nourishes the spirit. The thought of death stands apart momentarily alone and tongue-tied when we humans celebrate our powerful connections to family.

end note: [I am sure a woman could have accepted the job of fire starter smoothly and without a hitch, but during my time at Kalani from December through early March 2009, the celebration of masculinity bubbled forth in front of the inferno.]

Charlatan Comics and the Word of God

No Discipline Neuters Love???

I had no idea I was listening to a Christian radio station because an unknown voice was discussing things his dog shouldn’t eat that the dog seemed to enjoy eating, which I assumed meant poop. I have known other dogs who do that in their spare time. That's why I came to that conclusion. He never said it directly.

Christian radio is something I almost always avoid, but on the 4-minute drive to the library, I heard a man who made me laugh, a better than average comedian.

The charlatan stand-up comic described how he would sit down with his dog, who couldn’t look him in the eye after such an incident had occurred, and offer words of stern discipline on why the particular substance consumed by the dog was not beneficial for his well being.

Comic; pastor; man of God: whoever he was said,

“You destroy and neuter love if there is no discipline.”

Now, I am left thinking about it.

Wild rides in the mind occur at unforeseen moments, like it or not.

The American Media: Where to start...

Addressing subjectivity reveals truth
June 30, 2008

Journalists must disclose potential biases behind their positions

Opinions themselves are not treacherous, but hidden opinions presented as the news offer readers a slanted view of the world. Full disclosure of a journalist’s personal agenda reveals the powerful punch of individual biases that contribute to shaping the news.

Hard news published in credible newspapers is based on the lofty assumption that a reporter’s neutral voice is revealing the truth in each story. But fair and balanced coverage in newspapers and on television has taken a bloody beating from modern-day media barons such as Rupert Murdoch.

Murdoch brazenly uses the media outlets he purchases including the Fox News Channel and The Wall Street Journal as mouthpieces for his own political and social agenda.

The slanted worldview that media moguls like Murdoch present to their audiences pushes gullible news consumers off-balance in their every day decision-making prowess by presenting them with misinformed and biased interpretations of national and global affairs.

In the case of an opinion writer like me, full disclosure is my way of revealing the voice behind the words. Full disclosure gives you- the reader- the knowledge that you require to recognize the origin of many of my positions on the issues.

Full disclosure is necessary because no opinion emerges from the darkness of a void into the light of day in a heartbeat. The code of beliefs we each live by and the boundaries of cultural constructs we map out in our minds were formed over years and years of living in the world.

The social, cultural, geographical, religious and economic circumstances that I have been exposed to throughout my lifetime affect my writing.

As Canadian philosopher Lorraine Code said, “Objectivity requires taking subjectivity into account.”

In his April 18, 2006 blog post “Goose Meet Gander: Answering The Times’ Questions,” Jeff Jarvis discusses the disclosure questionnaire that The New York Times requires freelance journalists to complete before they begin work at the newspaper.

Jarvis writes in that blog entry that if a reader needs information about a journalist to judge the credibility of his or her story, “We don’t need to litter stories in sparse print and airtime with every such disclosure; it could reach an absurd though amusing extreme… But we should not shy away from such disclosure when it is relevant.”

And Jarvis doesn’t shy away from exposing information that might affect his slant on a story including his religious, business, media, financial and political ties. He also answers some of the Times’ questions on the personal disclosure page of his BuzzMachine blog. The questions inquire about current and previous employers, volunteer work, lobbying and any financial ties or connections.

At the 2008 National Conference for Media Reform in Minneapolis, journalist Bill Moyers condemned media consolidation as the root cause of what he described as “journalism in extreme crises.”

He referred to the mainstream media as accountable to corporate boards and profits but not the public.

“As conglomerates swallow up newspapers, magazines, publishing houses and broadcast outlets, news organizations are folded into entertainment divisions. The news hole in the print media shrinks to make room for ads, celebrities, nonsense and propaganda, and the news we need to know slips from sight,” he told the audience at the conference.

In a world where corporations and media barons control both the content and ideological perspective of the news, Moyers warned the American public against becoming an unconscious and indoctrinated people fed by the mighty armada of power and influence in the dominant and dumbed down media.

For me, being an opinion writer is not about irresponsibly using this space to ignorantly and egotistically broadcast my own agenda to unconscious and indoctrinated readers.

For me, being an opinion writer is a process of using writing to publicly explore my preconceived notions about day-to-day life and engage in some mind-bending discussions with you: the readers.

I openly disclose that I wouldn’t mind possessing the riches that Rupert Murdoch enjoys, but that I wholeheartedly disagree with his personal news agenda.

I want readers to build a bridge of communication with writers that will assist us all in engaging in a robust and informed discussion about national and world affairs.

Full disclosure is the first step to reaching that goal.

Looking for My Path in 2009

[I wrote this editorial when I was in the Teach for America Program during the summer of 2008. I decided not to sign the contract with the Las Vegas Valley school system after completing my training in Watts. My path involves teaching talented and gifted and college bound students. I know that now.]

Education
July 28, 2008

Children in low-income neighborhoods deserve more adequate public school systems

A police helicopter was buzzing above the school grounds, drowning out the instructors’ voices inside of their classrooms at Markham Middle School in Watts, California on July 9.

Markham Middle School is a series of nondescript buildings near the Jordan Downs Housing Project. It’s a public housing project where residents experience the fallout from gang violence and a high crime rate on a level that profoundly affects the future opportunities available to the students who were sitting restlessly at their desks in front of me.

Los Angeles Times writer Sandy Banks described Jordan Downs in a 2006 article entitled “Injunction Has Community Feeling Handcuffed,” describing it as “a notorious public housing project in Watts considered by the Los Angeles Police Department to be so dangerous that officers are allowed to conduct ‘foot beat’ patrols from the safety of their cars and the department is installing outdoor surveillance cameras to monitor crime.”

I faced my students and wondered how their lives were different from mine.

I was a new 2008 Teach for America Corps member sent to Markham to teach summer school for the month of July. I was placed at Markham as part of the organization’s mission to close the educational achievement gap in the U.S.

When I sat down to join my small group of summer school students in our math and literacy class on the third day of school, I asked a student named Noe to tell me about his neighborhood.

Noe looked at me earnestly and said, “Miss, you don’t want to be in Watts at night or you’ll get raped and killed.”

I then asked Noe to advise me on things I should see or do while I was in Watts for the month of July.

“You should see the Watts Towers, Miss. It’s made out of garbage,” he said.

When I saw the Watts Towers for the first time, I wanted to appreciate this series of towers as optimistic expressions of art. In fact I visualized the towers as exuberant monumental pieces of urban art constructed from steel, concrete and found objects such as bed frames and bottles. Noe had told me, however, that the towers were made of garbage. Was I being overly optimistic?

Markham’s high school graduation rate is less than 50 percent, and the discipline problems I faced in my classroom were severe. I taught a group of extremely intelligent students who had created a classroom culture of misbehavior and bad choices that slowed down their learning process.

One of my students spent most of the hour using his hands to ball up his notebook paper and throw the balls across the room. Another student fidgeted restlessly and checked the cell phone in his pocket every few minutes, while another student completely turned around in his chair to chat with his neighbor.

This was not Iowa, the state where I had studied during my middle and high school years. Things were definitely different at Markham.

It was my job to create a space for learning. In the Teach for America literature that I read in order to prepare for my teaching experience, I re-learned what I already knew. An educational achievement gap exists in the U.S. To put it simply, where children grow up determines their life prospects.

According to the government’s National Assessment of Educational Progress 2005, a national assessment of students’ knowledge and skills, 9 year-olds living in low-income communities are three grade levels behind their high-income peers.

Of the 13 million children growing up in poverty, about half won’t graduate from high school. Those who do will perform on average at an eighth grade level according to the same report. Markham students were no exception.

After working with my students for only one week, I knew that the one thing I wanted most for Gilbert, Keynay and Jessica was for them to have an opportunity to learn and a chance to go to college, so that when they were 30 years old, they would be closer to realizing their dreams. And my kids had big dreams.

After reading their journal entries, I discovered that Gilbert wanted to own his own company and work with cars when he was 30. Keynay wanted to be married to a beautiful woman and have a good job, while Jessica wanted to get good grades in all of her classes and graduate from junior high and high school.

If, as the data suggests, only one in 10 students from low-income communities graduates from college, I still believe that a relentless pursuit of academic excellence in the classroom will result in my students at Markham beating the odds.

Evolution of the Species at Burning Man

Evolution, the Year of Science and Burning Man
Current mood: sleepy
Category: Art and Photography

[I am planning to go to Burning Man this year with Ana, Susan and Marina, and our plans began to take shape this afternoon on the road home to Kalani.]

Burning Man Update: The Jack Rabbit Speaks
Volume 13, Issue #12
February 5, 2009


Don't know if you're aware of this, but this month is the 200th anniversary of the birth of one Charles Darwin, and the 150th anniversary of his seminal book "On the Origin of Species" being published. (You could say it had a bit of an impact on things.)

Combined with the fact that 2009 is officially the Year of Science (yes, for reals: http://www.yearofscience2009.org), and that science is poised to retake its rightful place in governmental priorities, and that this year's Burning Man art theme is "Evolution", well ... our minds are about to explode with sciencey goodness!

So break out a beaker, fill it up with your libation of choice (be it a mixture or a solution), warm it up over your trusty Bunsen burner(if you're partial to hot toddies) and offer up a toast to the wonders of logic, reason, and science. And, heck, fanciful whimsy too, while you're at it ... because why not?

Unblock the Mind, Heart, Body and Spirit Flow

Blocked

[I am trying to unblock myself Pema. I wish that you were here to give me some mentoring from the heart! I need it.]

The river flows rapidly down the mountain, and then all of a sudden it gets blocked with big boulders and a lot of trees. The water can't go any farther, even though it has tremendous force and forward energy. It just gets blocked there. That's what happens with us, too; we get blocked like that. Letting go at the end of the out-breath, letting the thoughts go, is like moving one of those boulders away so that the water can keep flowing, so that our energy and our life force can keep evolving and going forward. We don't, out of fear of the unknown, have to put up these blocks, these dams, that basically say no to life and to feeling life.

-Pema Chodron, Tricycle: The Buddhist Review, Vol. I, #1

Girls Got Balls

Thought Provoking Quotes

From: The Gay Quote Book by Brandon Judell

To hell with the missionary position! (I don’t agree with this message 100 percent, but it has a rebel yell ring to it that shakes the status quo boat. That, I like.)

“I don’t think there is such a thing as a precise sexual orientation. I think we’re all ambiguous sexually.” Tennessee Williams

“Love can read the writing on the remotest star.” Oscar Wilde

“This morning even my pencil’s got your tooth marks.” May Swenson, writer

“Poison kills the body, but moral poison kills the soul.” James Douglas, Editor of the Sunday Express, 1928

“Girls got balls. They’re just a little higher up.” Joan Jett, musician

Learning Nudes

Title: Abdomens & The Chihuahua
Current mood: working
Category: Art and Photography

Non-Conform

The bubbly electronic music playing in the background was accompanied by 40 mile-an-hour winds blowing through the coconut palms and lauhala trees. The gusts and bursts of power from Mother Nature caused the Chihuahua sitting in my lap to twitch nervously from his Batman cape ears to the tip of his rat-like tail. After making ten to twelve attempts to snooze in my lap, he yawned wide-mouthed and decided to investigate the light-blue sweatshirt balled up in the corner of the futon. First, he sniffed the medium weight cotton thoroughly, and then he drug one arm of the sweatshirt into his territory.

Biting and sucking the fabric, he growled when I tried to reclaim my possession. Wrinkling his brow and powering his stick-like hind legs into high gear, the little brown bundle of nervous ticks pulled the sweatshirt to the middle of the futon where he could dominate and make love to it doggy fashion.

I put my sketches and pencils down so that I could address the situation, but once the sweatshirt was out of the little rascal’s jaws, my raincoat became his desired mate. Gently setting his four paws on the wooden floorboards, I returned to my drawing.

When the dog was no longer a problem, I realized that I enjoyed gazing at Neil’s flat muscular stomach. The first part of a man that catches my eye is his abdomen if it’s exposed, and here in Hawaii, exposed male abdomens abound aplenty. If I were to work on a sculpture, Neil’s well-defined abdominal muscles would be the body part that I would chose to isolate, knead and caress- spreading clay erotically through my fingers to replicate an adoration for that part of the male anatomy.

Neil was about five feet six inches tall, mildly hairy from his lower calves to his upper thighs, smooth on his back and topped with brown curly tresses sun kissed yellow. The hair under his arms was not too thick; sexy due to its sparseness and soft texture. Neil held his poses from one minute to twenty- twirling, spinning and yoga posturing until he found a comfortable position to freeze for our interpretations.

The music was changing, picking up tempo, lifting me spiritually higher off the futon’s cushion. The wind spun through the ceiling, rocking the metal supports with creaks and groans while the large-eared Chihuahua temporarily slept peacefully in my lap after I had hidden my excess clothing from his view. I realized that there is no right or wrong way to represent our physical world on paper. As I looked around the studio at various easels, I saw Neil represented in skin tone, passion purple, tingling teal, pencil, watercolor and oil: the consciousness of the artist whose energy brought the drawing to life hovered above each hand.

Step away from the binding constructs of right and wrong, left and right, homo and hetero and into your own being. Slip into the present moment’s teaching and the act of living itself. Step outside cultural conditioning and find your own space: the personal heart, mind, body and spirit comfort zone that gives you bliss.

The dog slept for perhaps two to three minutes in my lap, only to wake, turn his head 180 degrees, reshuffle his protruding bones into a new position and search again for the peace of slumber.

Wind chimes flavored the air with smells of dew kisses and honey.

The model relaxed the pose, stretching his stiff limbs with a sigh.

The Law of Growth

Each day at work in the landscaping department at an eco-resort on the Hilo side of the island of Hawaii, I witness greedy vegetation reach for the sun at the expense of what slouches and festers beneath the surface. As lava rock cracks and ohia trees and sword ferns emerge from the black ground, sensitive plants and morning glory vines root in the fertilizer of fallen leaves and rotting lehua flowers. The cycle of volcanic activity and the reclamation of lava by plant life is an organic process that transforms the landscape from the barren, rocky playground of Pele to lush swaths of variegated green growing at amazing speeds. The lovers Ohia and Lehua continue their love story high in the branches dropping life on the ground below.

I agree with Louise Erdrich, who in her collection of short stories “The Red Convertible,” describes the law of growth like this:

“In the woods, there is no right way to go, of course, no trail to follow but the law of growth. You must leave behind the notion that things are right. Just look around you. Here is the way things are. Twisted, fallen, split at the root. What grows best does so at the expense of what’s beneath.”

Seek Pleasure

Bliss and the Adventurer

Increasing pleasure was the focus of a day-long workshop I attended in January '09 at Kalani Oceanside Retreat in Pahoa, Hawaii. Stewart, the pleasure workshop facilitator, described himself as a serious student of bliss. That's the best job description I have heard to date.

One of the assumptions I embraced from Stewart's teachings was that the universe wants me to be happy because it's a place filled with excitement and joy. These are five points from the workshop that I want to remember in my own personal quest for pleasure.

1. My body is my friend.
2. When in doubt, forgive. Always be in doubt.
3. Say "yes" over and over again as the body accepts this promise of openness to possibility. Yes is an affirmation to the universe.
4. Integrate mind, body, heart and spirit. (The most important point for me!)
5. The following affirmation makes life more pleasurable: "I refuse to endure discomfort and pain, and I give myself permission to experience multiple daily pleasures in pursuit of a life complete with delight and harmony."

Of the eight steps to increasing pleasure that Stewart discussed at the workshop, my personal favorite was adopting the spirit of an adventurer. I have followed the adventurer's path for most of my life, and if I were to lead you on a tour of that path, it would look something like this.

An adventurer accepts risks, including the possibility of feeling pain, showing vulnerability, seeking out intensity and successfully handling challenges. A curiosity and sense of awe for the unfamiliar and unexplored territory define the adventurer's state of mind. Flexibility and openness to exploration and change are personality traits we cultivate. We allow curiosity, imagination and wonder to be our inspiration for action as our imaginations lead us to greater pleasures. We know how to manage expectations of ourselves and others and enjoy variety, contrast and novelty.

My advice is to adopt the attitude of an adventurer if you haven't already and bliss out at least once today and every following day.

Silence and Me: Seeking the Sea

Poem Thirty-One

Silence is the sea, and speech is like the river.
The sea is seeking you: don't seek the river.
Don't turn your head away
from the signs offered by the sea.
Mathnawi IV, 2062-2063

[I have been seeking silence lately because she's a willing partner who leads me through my mind's whirlwind to peace: a welcome relief to sit with her and share burdens only I can shed from my heart. She understands.]

Poem Forty

Don't hide your heart but reveal it,
So that mine might be revealed,
And I might accept what I am capable of.
Mathnawi I, 2682

expand the belly, rib cage and chest

Focus on the breath.
Expand the belly, the rib cage and the chest.

Notice where you feel relaxed and tense in the body. There’s nothing wrong with tension, but expand a feeling of ease into the areas of the body with stored pain, mental and physical.

Focus on the breath.
Expand the belly, the rib cage and the chest.
Open the heart.
Bow the head to show respect to the wisdom of the heart.

I'm practicing yoga again.

June-bugging

“Do what you will with me.”
is a line from Alexis Harte's song by the same name on the CD Junebug.

When I think of trust, playful lust, emotional safety in romantic relationships, respect between lover and loved, and damn pleasing sex, that line says volumes in six words.

People fornicate for hundreds of reasons.

1. They want to forget an ex-lover and banish pain from their hearts.
2. They want bodily pleasures with no strings attached to responsibility for their lover’s state of mind.
3. They’re drunk and a naked opportunity arises in their hands.

But, to give yourself over to another in trust, allowing him to do what he will with your body and mind is earthy, sexy, and oozes the context I am looking for when I am pleased from head to toe.

Therapist and author Mary Pipher, who I wish were my mentor, opened a channel of self-awareness in her book Writing to Change the World. I realized after I read a paragraph in her book that in order to reach the level of trust where I can tell my lover: "Do what you will with me,” I must observe and practice this truth.

“Unacknowledged emotions do not disappear. They fester. Ignoring dark emotions leads to addiction or violence (or regret). In fact, most of the truly rotten behavior in the world comes from running away from feelings.”

Don’t run away. When I don't run, egos will disappear in a state of grace, so I am able to follow the flow and soar.

"...the process is right, and the neurons are snapping, so ideas will burst forth."

Three Day Beard: How would you re-write the song?

I heard the song “It’s a Great Day to be Alive” on my way to school, and thought, “Heck yes! If I were a man, I would grow a Fu Man Chu too.” Getting a new tattoo and cruising for three days on a Harley are avenues to happiness for some. I, however, would re-write the song’s lyrics as follows:

Well I might go get me a new tattoo
or take my old Harley for a three day cruise,
might even grow me a Fu Man Chu...
Oh Aww!

My Revisions:

Well might go get me a plane ticket to paradise
Or take my sweetest buddy on a trek through Peru
Might even grab me a fellow and dance the tango
A fellow who has a Fu Man Chu.

(A visual is provided from Google Images although he is not THE fellow I plan to grab. In fact, I do not know this man.) Does he resemble an archetype of evil criminal genius floating around in the lyrics of a red neck country western song?

I am curious. What words would you use to express the sentiment that it's a great day to be alive? Don't be shy because it's your turn. Let the inner song writer emerge.

Side Note: I was reading about the racial stereotyping of the Fu Man Chu character, but his mustache is one of his defining characteristics. I think it is interesting how a country western singer, Travis Tritt, uses this reference to a style of mustache as something that he wants to grow on his face when he is feeling high on life. Tritt also wants to go unshaven when he's feeling fine. Perhaps for Travis Tritt, altering his facial hair is a sign of shaking off societal conformity and expressing his own inner creativity. As a woman, it is difficult to empathize with growing facial hair on a great day. We usually pluck ours.

My favorite parts of the original song are below.
Artist/Band: Travis Tritt – It’s A Great Day to be Alive

Got a three day beard I don't plan to shave
And it's a goofy thing but I just gotta say
Hey I'm doing alright

Feelin’ pretty good and that's the truth
It's neither drink nor drug induced
No I'm just doin’ alright

Now I look in the mirror and what do I see?
A lone wolf there starin’ back at me
Long in the tooth but harmless as can be
Lord I guess he's doin’ alright

Sometimes it's lonely:
Sometimes it's only me
and the shadows that fill this room
Sometimes I'm fallin’
Desperately callin’
Howlin’ at the moon...
Ahwoo!
Ahwoo!

Well I might go get me a new tattoo
or take my old Harley for a three day cruise,
might even grow me a Fu Man Chu...
Oh Aww!

And it's a great day to be alive.
I know the sun's still shinin’ when I close my eyes.
There are some hard times in the neighborhood.
But why can't every day be just this good?

Every Day: An Opportunity for New Beginnings

Treat every day as a new beginning.

If you need a break from winter weather, open to life's mystery with openhearted abandonment, and enjoy the support of community members who envision a more peaceful world, explore volunteer opportunities at Kalani on the big island of Hawaii.

I highly recommend the sunsets, black sand beach, clothing optional hot tub and vegetarian food. Here’s my plug for a lush slice of paradise.

Aloha to Health, Wellness, Forgiveness, Compassion, Kindness and New Beginnings.

It’s Time

What time do you have?

“Time heals what reason cannot.” - Seneca
“One should count each day a separate life.”

“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” - Andy Warhol


My personal favorite:

“There is no great genius without some touch of madness.”

Perhaps that gives me an excuse for disregarding the clock, often to my own demise. Thank you Seneca.

What does life mean to you?

Mental Negotiations

I have always been interested in how the mind negotiates with reality, fantasy, hallucination, desire and dreams, but I usually approach my fascination from a literary standpoint. After I read Roger Ebert’s review of the film “Synecdoche, New York," I realized I needed to see that film. Ebert spells out how life is supposed to work in his review, yet the hollowness of his definition echoes down the hallway of my doubts and uncertainties: Shouldn’t there be more to this entity that human beings narrowly define as life? I feel as if I don't get anywhere when I ask the question, but at the same time I can't escape the pondering.

“Synecdoche, New York"
(excerpts from a November 5, 2008 film review by Roger Ebert that enticed me to the theater)


Here is how life is supposed to work. We come out of ourselves and unfold into the world. We try to realize our desires. We fold back into ourselves, and then we die… The job, the name, the race, the gender, the environment, all change. The human remains pretty much the same.

Here is how it happens. We find something we want to do, if we are lucky, or something we need to do, if we are like most people. We use it as a way to obtain food, shelter, clothing, mates, comfort, a first folio of Shakespeare, model airplanes, American Girl dolls, a handful of rice, sex, solitude, a trip to Venice, Nikes, drinking water, plastic surgery, child care, dogs, medicine, education, cars, spiritual solace -- whatever we think we need. To do this, we enact the role we call "me," trying to brand ourselves as a person who can and should obtain these things.

In the process, we place the people in our lives into compartments and define how they should behave to our advantage. Because we cannot force them to follow our desires, we deal with projections of them created in our minds. But they will be contrary and have wills of their own. Eventually new projections of us are dealing with new projections of them. Sometimes versions of ourselves disagree. We succumb to temptation -- but, oh, father, what else was I gonna do? I feel like hell. I repent. I'll do it again. Hold that trajectory in mind and let it interact with age, discouragement, greater wisdom and more uncertainty.

Charlie Kaufman is one of the few truly important writers to make screenplays his medium. David Mamet is another. That is not the same as a great writer (Faulkner, Pinter, Cocteau) who writes screenplays. Kaufman is writing in the upper reaches with Bergman. Now for the first time he directs.

It is obvious that he has only one subject, the mind, and only one plot, how the mind negotiates with reality, fantasy, hallucination, desire and dreams.

Source: Rogerebert.com

[Synecdoche: A form of the metaphor in which the part mentioned signifies the whole.]

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle

I have nearly finished reading the book The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (less than 50 pages of the 609 remaining). In addition to making me miss the neighborhoods of Tokyo, I am stunned by Murakami’s ability to capture the haphazard uncertainty, displaced sense of reality, disjointed spontaneity and humanity’s disconnectedness boiling brain recipe of fate and free will in each of the character’s movements through a thick paste of internal monologues, which become a large part of the setting.

The characters forced me to examine demons churning around in my own glob of energy- subconscious and conditioned responses- and ask myself the question: How does my free will intertwine itself around the thick and viable vine of fate swinging me for a ride in the night sky?

All of these questions. And where was that damn cat, Noboru Wataya, for an entire year?

I want to write the screenplay for this book. If I had only one scene to compose, it would be Lieutenant Mamiya’s story. Mamiya is a World War II vet who tells Toru, the book’s hapless hero, of the atrocities he witnessed on the Mongolian front including the skinning of his companion from shoulder to groin.

pineapple-juicy groovy

Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes

countdown turned on to affirmatives

pineapple-juicy groovy

clothing-optional sunshine sweet

coqui frog-croaking dinner bell

and stars in my purr

I’m squishy with possibilities
in the Kingdom of Yes.

Where is your center?

I love the idea of restoring my life for balance and settling my day with meditation. I want to be aware of the powerful crouch of my cat while he waits for goldfinches to perch on dried coneflowers to nibble the seeds. I want to see the cotton candy gray clouds violating the blue optimism of the sky with threats of assault. I want to notice my world, rotate my tires and roll evenly through the world with eyes wide open.

November 14, 2008 - Tricycle's Daily Dharma

Settle Your Day

It is not merely enthusiasm that erodes when practice declines. Your body and mind can go out of tune. You are no longer a vessel of insight. The cardinal can sing; the wind can move the ironwood trees delicately; a child can ask a wise question--and where is your center? How can you respond? It is time to put yourself back in tune, to be ready for experiences that make life fulfilling. Take up the advice for beginners. Put your zazen pad somewhere between your bathroom and your kitchen. Sit down there in the morning after you use the bathroom and before you cook breakfast. You are sitting with everyone in the world. If you sit only briefly, you will have at least settled your day.

-Robert Aitken, Encouraging Words

from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith, a Tricycle book

assert your voice

I am reviewing assertive communication styles for my midterm exam, and I know positively that this is the style I want to add to my intellectual wardrobe.

An assertive communication style is:

open;
direct;
appropriate to the situation;
spontaneous;
responsive to my own best interests;
resisting of coercion;
AND, best of all


results in helping me build healthy, constructive relationships.

my journey: the catalyst

Catalyst to Dreams

My fellow reader Greg, who is also an intensely missed conversation partner of mine, is currently teaching at the American University in Cairo. Jim is jetting off for spiritual growth in India, and I am preparing for my body, mind and soul re-fueling mission. I’ve purchased the airline ticket, contacted fellow travelers who will be there as well, and I daily whip my body back into swimsuit shape.

Ms. Body is ever so grateful for her chance to shine and serenades me daily in appreciation for the cardio and fat-burn sessions. “Push me harder,” are three of her favorite words. “Feel the burn," she hums in delight as I peel off my sweat-soaked sports bra and toss it into my gym bag.

As I prepare for the trip, I ruminate on Barbara Coloroso’s words, which simplify my life and make my ethical decisions easier to execute in my relationships with others.

“Don’t manipulate another person’s behavior. Positively influence and empower others to be successful, to feel confident, to identify what they need in order to feel safe and secure in their world. Be a catalyst for their sense of self-discovery. “

That’s how I want to see myself today.

I am a catalyst for my own sense of self-discovery.

This leads me to a place where I am ready to cooperatively explore creativity and empowerment with others.

wet, slick and relaxed...

Anger Management in the Sauna at 80 Celsius

I have discovered that I have almost no anger or frustration festering in my mind and body after a cardio workout followed by weight lifting and about 20-25 minutes in an 80 degree Celsius sauna. Let’s hear it for sweat- slippery, slick and sexy! There isn’t any space left for negativity in my pores after that experience.

forgiveness, feeling safe and letting go

Forgiveness is a tolerance of mistakes, the ability to forgive each other for defections. Everyday acts of forgiveness among people who know each other in the real world are incredibly common.

1. Human beings forgive people who make them feel safe. To forgive we must know that the offender can't and won't harm us again. (Personally, I have found this to be painfully true. If I don't feel safe, I can't forgive.)

2. We are prone to forgive if the relationship has value to us. It is easier to forgive than to destroy the relationship and start over again. (As much as I value a relationship, if I don't feel safe, I can't trust. Since trust is the essential ingredient for forgiveness, safety is the key to everything.)

3. If we want to forgive, we need to have a conversation with the person who harmed us. The conversation should be about reassurance that safety can be restored in the relationship. It's important to talk about practicing behavior that will restore respect. This conversation can get messy and emotional, and the hard work starts after the conversation ends as people begin to re-establish trust once again. "Forgiveness is a brawny muscular exercise that someone with a passion for life should take on," according to Michael McCullough.

4. So much of forgiveness is about interacting with the person who hurt us and seeing him or her in a different light. Without this interaction and discussion, forgiveness is more difficult.

From NPR Speaking of Faith, November 9, 2008, "Getting Revenge and Forgiveness"

Synopsis of the program: Michael McCullough, Director of the Lab for Social and Clinical Psychology at the University of Miami, describes science that helps us comprehend how revenge came to have a purpose in human life. At the same time, he stresses, science is also revealing that human beings are more instinctively equipped for forgiveness than we've perhaps given ourselves credit for. Knowing this suggests ways to calm the revenge instinct in ourselves and others and embolden the forgiveness intuition.


AND NOW, SOME WORDS ABOUT BUDDHA:

Buddha is not a personal name and the concept is NOT a man.

"Buddha" is not a personal name; it is a title, meaning "awakened," "enlightened," and "evolved." A Buddha's enlightenment is a perfect omniscience. A Buddha's mind is what theists have thought the mind of God [or the human mind at its height of perfection] would have to be like, totally knowing of every single detail of everything in an infinite universe, totally aware of everything--hence by definition inconceivable, incomprehensible to finite, ignorant, egocentric consciousness.

- Robert A.F. Thurman, Essential Tibetan Buddhism

say NO to censoring the arts

Be it wholesome Christians, pure Muslims, pious Hindus or missionary Mormons, followers of diverse gods, goddesses, prophets and so-called saviors of the human soul fight for their right to censor artists in the name of the crusade. I ask you this question: Is an $11 million dollar reward for anyone's head really necessary?

excerpt from The New York Times online, October 8, 2008
"An Artist in Exile Tests India’s Democratic Ideals"

Mr. Husain [the painter of the naked Hindu goddess above] is a Muslim who is fond of painting Hindu goddesses, sometimes portraying them nude. That obsession has earned him the ire of a small but organized cadre of Hindu nationalists. They have attacked galleries that exhibit his work, accused him in court of “promoting enmity” among faiths and, on one occasion, offered an $11 million reward for his head.

end note:

I read in the November 1, 2008 issue of the Economist today that the Red Cross predicts that at least 17.5 million people may face starvation in Ethiopia, Kenya, and Somalia. Where are our priorities people?

Who stole the cement elf?

Note to a Thief

My mother lives in speck on the map community in the middle of the United States- visualize corn, soybeans, and rural gossip- and one community tool that keeps the 5,226 people in town informed and united is a news/advertiser published every Wednesday. Inside the pages of this newspaper, readers discover who is selling a John Deere lawn tractor for $500, who will be having garage sales on Friday or Saturday afternoons, and what the special of the week is going to be at the local pizza place: a mini pizza and iced tea for $4.00 on Thursday.

In the Wednesday, November 5, 2008 edition of this newspaper, the following note to a thief appeared.

MISSING

To whoever took our keepsake cement elf from our backyard in Dakota City, if not satisfied with it, please bring it back or send a thank you note!

H. & D. Dale
20 4th. St. So.

Two Random Thoughts

Two Disconnected Thoughts

1. I attempt to run away from cool temperatures and chilly winds. It’s true. I run because the cold hurts my skin, and when I breathe the nippiness into my lungs, I want to escape, so instinct urges me to run. I am certain that in my past lives I have not been exposed to bitter cold, snow or the wind’s chill, so I run. Do you run?

2. For those of you who were bullied in elementary, middle or high school, you might appreciate these research findings. According to the findings by Ballard, Argus & Remley, 1999 and Dunn in 2001, “Bullying is an early predictor of lifelong antisocial tendencies, often leading to criminal activities.”
Perhaps that unruly bully who made you pee your pants is now behind bars frittering away slow moving hours and bullying other prisoners.

what to tell inquiring minds about the Buddha

People often ask me to define Buddhism for them, and I can't do it. This lack of a clear, clean agreed upon definition of the practice is the reason I enjoy what Buddhism has to offer me; Everyone must interpret it individually. This means that people are required to think, actively engage with the text, and make their own decisions about the teachings.

Today, however, I found a passage that will help me explain why I practice.

Depending on which part of Buddhism you grasp, you might identify it as a system of ethics, a philosophy, a contemplative psychotherapy, a religion. While containing all of these, it can no more be reduced to any one of them than an elephant can be reduced to its tail.

--Stephen Batchelor, Buddhism Without Beliefs

Miss U and her crazy umbrella

LJ - Journal Entry 6
Phonological Awareness
Unit 3 – November 2, 2008

Childhood is where an appreciation or disgust for letters all starts, and my love of language, literature and poetry today is partly due to Miss U and my alphabet book.

I remember the alphabet book that I made in first grade. I loved each of the 26 cartoon characters in that book with their individual personalities and bright colors. Miss U was an umbrella, and she had a rather reserved personality that I crafted in my head. Miss U was never wet, but rather shy and standoffish from the other letters, using her umbrella as a social shield. Mr. R and his arsenal of rubber bands was a rude dude who would pull each rubber band taut and fire it at the back of the other letters’ heads. Ouch, Miss U squeaked when she felt a sting near her hairline.

Each phoneme was more than a sound for me. Sounds, letters, words and books merged into a rich mosaic that flew off the page and interacted with my own internal emotional dialogue. Words were contextualized through my school’s reading program because I could imagine myself singing with each letter, creating joyous rhymes for our secret entertainment as we marched around my bedroom. By allowing each letter to personally shine, the letters were friends. Words united with visuals to blend the medley of literacy skills into thoughts inside of my head that organized my world. I loved it.

Even now when I read about building phonological awareness in children, I substituted my name in “The Name Game” song.

Lori!

Lori, Lori bo Bori
Bonana fanna fo fori
Mee my mo Mori, Lori!

I don’t remember my teachers having any influence on my adoration of rhyme and word play, which leads me to believe that I was a devotee of literacy and linguistics when my father’s sperm met my mother’s egg. Even today, as I write a poem or compose a sentence in my journal, I recognize the pleasure of separating words into syllables to create a rhythm to my work, blending sounds into words that cause surprise or disbelief, and selecting words that start with the same sound to soothe or annoy my readers.

There is no stopping a true reader and writer.

Linda Hogan had this advice for writers, and I think she is correct: “If someone is going to be a writer, they'll be a writer no matter what they do. I don't think I have any advice. I used to think I did, but if somebody loves to write they will be a writer.”

I could never see the Big Dipper and so what...

I never want to look for the damn Big Dipper because the sky is calling me. I would much rather appreciate the wholeness of the night twinkles, the chill in the autumn air and the sound of my companion's voice as we discuss life and our place in it. I'm glad I'm not looking for the Big Dipper because I would much rather experience the mindful whole.

Perception and Mindfulness

When perception is stronger than mindfulness, we recognize various appearances and create concepts such as "body," "cat", "house," or "person". . .

On some clear night, go outside, look up at the sky, and see if you can find the Big Dipper. For most people that is a familiar constellation, easy to pick out from all the other stars. But is there really a Big Dipper up there in the sky?

There is no Big Dipper up there. "Big Dipper" is a concept. Humans looked, saw a certain pattern, and then created a concept in our collective mind to describe it. That concept is useful because it helps us recognize the constellation. But it also has another, less useful effect. By creating the concept "Big Dipper" we separate out those stars from all the rest, and then, if we become attached to the idea of that separation, we lose the sense of the night sky's wholeness, its oneness. Does the separation actually exist in the sky? No. We created it through the use of a concept.

Does anything change in the sky when we understand that there is no Big Dipper? No.

--Joseph Goldstein, "Insight Meditation" from Everyday Mind

beware of red heads and mafia angels

written by LJ on October 31, 2008

Beware of Red Heads and Angels in Concrete Cowboy Boots

I feel moronic and heavy as if there is a misguided angel wearing cement cowboy boots sitting on my shoulder. Wouldn’t you know it? That’s the angel who would find me. He’s perturbed because his wings are out of service. Angel and I survey the landscape of humanity through a hole in the clouds, but he won’t talk about his mafia past, so I explain to him that I’m passionately drawn to the cocky redhead glowing above all the other men in the shuffle below. Alas, the redhead doesn’t acknowledge my distant wave. I try again extending both arms over my head and fluttering my fingers in what I hope is a Marilyn Monroe mid-air gyration, but he instinctively turns his shadow to my face.

Although I want him to join us on cloud 10, and I’m willing to boost him up to our level, I realize that I cannot NOT demand the minimum of what I require from his appealing form and electric intellect. Hot as a passionate desire can shout fornicate, a woman needs what a woman needs.

For me, communicating exclusively online is the kingdom of the socially retarded and the interpersonally deformed, so I wondered as the days passed if we would ever speak on the phone. The age-old question a modern woman phrases in a contemporary fashion goes something like this: Is he ever going to ask for my phone number and actually use it or am I deluding myself into thinking he is interested?

I started to see myself as an online cartoon character virtually grinning and strumming the alphabet song for his amusement, an animated figure he could dress up in outrageous red miniskirts that weren’t my style, clad in black leather hooker boots that hurt my feet: adding a sway to my hips at the touch of his mouse. I cried out to be real. I wanted to wear my blue jeans with a small hole in the buttocks. Couldn’t he hear me?

In her world, he was unwilling to break through the screensaver and hold the hand of a Midwestern girl who naively wanted to know him, desperately wanted to ask a million questions about what was churning around in his brain, from the mundane to the colossal, nothing about him was insignificant to that girl.

So much for building a mending wall; dismantling the barricade of mistrust cemented around her feet and rising to her navel. A redheaded masculine tone of voice exuding carbon dioxide was out of her environmental reach.

What does she do when she doesn’t see the eyes of the man on the other end of the Internet connection? She remembers them as being blue. She doubts his intentions and wonders if he’s an online super freak, that boy is super freaky. She hopes that isn’t the case but online communication compounds her distrust.

The red haired boy slips outside the circumference of the cloud peephole at the same instant Angel spots the man who designed his concrete boots. “That son of a bitch,” Angel hisses as his story begins.

inspire those around you

In a high school English class, I worked with students on a tribute poem about Twister the stub-tailed dog, best friends and a mother diagnosed with colon cancer. I was surprised how their language seemed stuck in high school slang- hung out and chilled- and common word usage. We spoke about expanding their vocabulary and about how selecting the exact word to convey a specific meaning was critical in a poem because the poet has so few words to work with.

Teaching for me is not only about monitoring and assessing, it's about making secondary students aware of the potential clout and force of the words they select to sway their reader, giving them the influence to make their audience sob blood or to cause a stoic heart to beat to the time of the arrhythmia of their word choice. They need to know that it’s their voice, fluency and grace that blends words together to make meaning in the world.

Oral and written language are important for secondary students because they will soon be launched into the adult world where words are power; literacy and comprehending what they read affect the choices they make and these choices contribute to collective empowerment or collective ignorance of tiny communities and throbbing nation-states. Without words, who are we? How do we as teachers instill this love and awe of words into our secondary students' writing habits?

sadly, youth makes a whore of beauty

Excerpt from “Meeting Elise” in the collection of short stories by Nam Le in The Boat
Sadly, youth makes a whore of beauty.

Don’t get me wrong, I like kids- Olivia was thirty years younger than me. I even wanted to have some with her. The problem is there are just too many of them. You can’t throw a brick on this island without concussing one. I wish I had more restraint. But I can’t help but hate how they look at me, how they don’t look at me. I hate their interchangeable bodies, their mass-rehearsed attitudes, their cars that look like boxes, like baseball caps, like artificial enlargements, their loud advertising, their beeps and clicks and trings, I hate how they speak words as though they’re chewing them, how they assume the business of the world revolves around them- how they’re right- and how everywhere this cult of youth, the pedamorphic dumbing-down, has whored beauty- duped, drugged, damaged, pixilated it and everywhere turned it to plastic.

i am at peace with the way things are

[Being at peace with the way things are leads us to peace.]

Scratching the Itch

It is hardest to cure a disease when the medicine we take itself causes the disease. We scratch the itch, and the scratching only makes it worse, we try to quench our thirst by drinking salt water, and we make ourselves thirstier. This is what happens when we believe that the only way to end desires is to fufill them. A different and liberating insight dawns when we begin to pay attention to this powerful energy in our lives.

-Joseph Goldstein, Insight Meditation

from Everyday Mind, edited by Jean Smith

just grandma

From: The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie

(A Tribute to Grandmothers Everywhere)

And , yeah, my grandmother was smart and kind and traveled to about 100 different Indian reservations, but that had nothing to do with her greatness.

My grandma’s greatest gift was tolerance.

Now, in the old days, Indians used to be forgiving of any kind of eccentricity. In fact, weird people were often celebrated.

Epileptics were often shamans because people just assumed that God gave seizure-visions to the lucky ones.

Gay people were seen as magical too.

I mean, like in many cultures, men were viewed as warriors and women were viewed as caregivers. But gay people, being both male and female, were seen as both warriors and caregivers.

Gay people could do anything. They were like Swiss army knives!

My grandmother had no use for all the gay bashing and homophobia in the world, especially among other Indians.

“Jeez,” she said. “Who cares if a man wants to marry another man? All I want to know is who is going to pick up all the dirty socks?”

Of course, ever since white people showed up and brought along their Christianity and the fears of eccentricity, Indians have gradually lost all of their tolerance.

Indians can be just as judgmental and hateful as any white person.

But not my grandmother.

that space between the legs

Dangerous Spaces
Chicas, they are a distraction from the important things, and as Luis says, sometimes to go between the legs of a chica is more dangerous than walking under a bridge in a strange barrio.

The Boat, “Cartagena” by Nam Le

As Lori says, the same is true for going between the legs of a boy.

I heard something uplifting today.

The Gaelic language has about 14 words for love and hardly any words for hate.

BBC News podcast from 14 Oct. 08


Why can't we simply be nicer to each other? Would you rather be a novel or a poem? Think about it.

Where is Hercules?

What are heroes made of?
[Warning: a nursery rhyme stereotyping the sexes will appear.]

What are little boys made of?

Snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails.
That's what little boys are made of.

What are little girls made of?

Sugar and spice and all things nice.
That's what little girls are made of.

Psyche's House

Ancient heroes from the neighborhood
gather at the corner pub
trading narcissistic strategies
for escape from the siren songs
too eerie to ignore.

Despite Tiger Balm and Tylenol
rubbed and guzzled with pints of golden calories-
it's impossible to turn Helen's head
and launch anew
odyssey at dawn.

Universal Achilles' heels ache in unison.

The Graces failed in their mission:
Outwit Three Fates, or else…
Belly up to the bar boys,
and totter home tipsy.

Hollow victories haunt Psyche's house.
Where's Hercules when you need him?

-LJ, Sept. 2008

Escape Artist

Collapse of the World Order

Rubrics escaped the classroom today
and went wild on spring break.

Each level of performance,
trapped neatly in an isolated square,
sprang off the page-
hit the ground running.

Hooking up with Scrabble bums and
mingling with synonyms of defiant.

Can you imagine?
No more performance anxiety.

The rubric provides those doing the assessment with exactly the characteristics for each level of performance on which they should base their judgment.

The rubric provides those who have been assessed with clear information about how well they performed.

The rubric also provides those who have been assessed with a clear indication of what they need to accomplish in the future to better their performance.

-LJ, Sept. 2008

What does karma mean?

I'm reading "The Memory Keeper's Daughter" and it reinforces a message I find hard to hear. People do things to hurt others, and once the damage has been done- the pain inflicted, the torture experienced, verbal arrows released- it is too late. Throbbing memories fade and discolor, but the sharpness of the poke, the insult, the dirty deed remains like a stain at the bottom of a coffee cup: brown and scummy. It does not vanish no matter how much we wish to start over, begin again. Every action affects others, touches lives.


In simple terms, what does karma mean? It means that whatever we do, with our body, speech, or mind, will have a corresponding result. Each action, even the smallest, is pregnant with its consequences. It is said by the masters that even a little poison can cause death, and even a little seed can become a huge tree. And as Buddha said: "Do not overlook negative actions merely because they are small; however small a spark may be, it can burn down a haystack as big as a mountain." Similarly he said: "Do not overlook tiny good actions, thinking they are of no benefit; even tiny drops of water in the end will fill a huge vessel." Karma does not decay like external things, or ever become inoperative. It cannot be destroyed "by time, fire, or water." Its power will never disappear, until it is ripened.

- Sogyal Rinpoche, The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying from Everyday Mind

Breakfast

I had beans and rice for breakfast this morning while I was secretly desiring pancakes.

Carnal Cakes

Abstract pancake lover
syrup and honey sweet on the tongue
whet my appetite
with cake-like, crepe thin thinking
pancakes bubbling
over with salty butter
round layers tease my palate
gentle stabbing journey
between my lips
slippery hunger
why stop cravings for
pancakes?

LJ (a.k.a. Abstract) March 25, 2008

Pelicans

I saw a flock of pelicans, yellow-billed and droopy pouched, flying through Iowa skies. For those of you who don't live in Iowa, spying a flock of chunky pelicans is not an every day occurrence. Birds still fresh on my brain, I read this poem by Ondaatje on Sunday morning.

Is this itty-bitty poem worth sharing? That's for you to decide.

APPLICATION FOR A DRIVING LICENCE
by Michael Ondaatje

Two birds loved
in a flurry of red feathers
like a burst cottonball,
continuing while I drove over them.

I am a good driver, nothing shocks me.

Jihad

Jihad and Love

I finished reading the fictional novel "Finding Nouf" by Zoe Ferraris. The action takes place in Saudi Arabia where a 16 year-old Saudi girl has disappeared before her wedding.

I like this re-definition of jihad on page 275 in the hardback edition. It's not militaristic or combative; it re-defines jihad as a peace within, a recognition that fighting is not the answer.

"That was the true jihad, the giving up of goods, hopes, desires, when life demands it, when not to give up would lead to wrong."

Giving up strikes a chord in me and an affinity with my spiritual practice. Giving up things that have the potential to cause chaos in the world is a noble jihad. Here is another passage that moved me.

The 77 Words for Love

"It was disorienting to see such calculation amid such cloying romanticism. There was hubb, which meant love, and also seed; 'ishq, entanglement, and an ivy that strangles a tree; hawa, liking and error; fitna, passionate desire, also chaos; hayam, wandering thirsty in the desert; sakan, tranquility; and izaz, dignified love. Then the list grew darker, from captivation to confusion and affliction, even to depression, sorrow, and grief, culminating in fanna, nonexistence. The page stood out as a work of art…"

Horseshit or the Collective Unconscious

I have always liked the word serendipity, enjoying its carefree and spunky five-syllable trip down my tongue, so this after-sex shower scene from Michael Gruber's "The Tropic of Night" made me smile.

She kissed his neck.

"Serendipity that I called, huh?" he said.

"No, serendipity is when you're looking for something and you find something else that's even better. Penicillin. Columbus too, I guess. What you mean is synchronicity, which is when two independent variables happen at the same time, in a pseudo-meaningful way. Serendipity is scientific, synchronicity isn't."

"Why not?"

She tossed the book on his belly and slipped out of bed. "Read the book."

"Why should I when I have you? Where are you going?"

"The shower, where you can join me, if you promise not to get me started."

Under the lukewarm stream, he soaped her long back, while she held her braid away from the water. He said, "So tell me, why isn't synchronicity scientific?"

"By definition. And Jimmy, I want you to know that you are the first and only man I have ever discussed epistemology with under the shower."

"I appreciate that," he said.

"It was. In any case, science looks for causality. Event B only occurs after Event A, or is associated with it more than chance alone would allow. Lightning always precedes thunder, and so we assume that lightening causes thunder, and we look for a physical connection between the two events, and in that case, we find it, and science marches on. Synchronicity… proposes a linkage between two events that is meaningful without being causal or related in any reproducible or deterministic way… me wanting to get together with you and you happen to call me…"

"It's like luck."

"In a way. But it's supposed to be meaningful on the psychic level, too. The cosmos or the collective unconscious is trying to reach us. Horseshit, in other words." She looked down at him and let out a yelp. "Yikes, get that thing away from me," she cried, and hung a wet washcloth on it, then turned the cold tap all the way up.

READS that I wanna READ

Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman by Haruki Murakami

The Hummingbird's Daughter by Luis Alberto Urrea

The Reindeer People: Living with Animals and Spirits in Siberia by Piers Vitebsky

Maps for Lost Lovers by Nadeem Aslam

Paris Journal 1944-1955 by Janet Flanner

Check out the Kiriyama Pacific Rim Book Prize winners and more...

MORE INFO

Look deeply into yourself and come face to face with the primal "Huh?" -Andrew K. Davis (2001)