Gaining Understanding and My Wisdom, Part V

How do I believe that I gain understanding and information about the first four questions?

Do I think I need to study? 

Is my own experience sufficient? NO, my own experience is not sufficient. 

If my answer requires sources outside of myself, should these sources be provided for me? I am skeptical of provided sources because the provider has a bias, but that does not mean provided sources are worthless either.

How do I identify wisdom? 

How do I know what I know? innate? learned? cultural? What do I trust as true? 

How do I know when to change wisdom sources? What do my core values have to do with it? 

Humankind and Death, Part IV

What happens after death?

Is suffering ever necessary?
Is there a reason for death/early death?
In the face of suffering and death, why get up tomorrow? What is the good news about my own personal theology?

What is a good death? What is a bad death? Is repentance required at death? 

To be general and overarching, I believe that nothing takes more courage than to live by my own mind, values, and judgement and summon the hero within me who is guided by these beacons lighting the way for my own identity to create a path to a meaningful death. Having stated that ideal, it is never enjoyable to return to the practical. 

Ideals are pie in the sky, calorie-free, gluten-free, nutrient dense creations that taste like a slice of bliss. Reality is what I wake up to every morning when my cat threatens to poke everything, including my clock radio, off my night table if I do not immediately rise and shine to fill his food bowl.

I do not perceive death as a big deal at this time in my life. That may change as death draws nearer to me. When that happens, I may experience emotions of fear, pain, confusion, and wonderment at what comes next, but I would like to be able to accept my death gracefully. Nobody wants to suffer before dying, so I hope I still have control over my affairs as death comes closer to me. I hope my death does not hurt others, but everyone must cope and move forward in the wake of grief. Making sure a will is in place, a medical power of attorney, and other important documents will help friends and family left behind to tidy up my mess. I acknowledge those I have trusted in my life when I put the power of life and death into their hands.

I do need to start living my values to die a fulfilled life. (be passionate, be honest, be authentic, be kind, have integrity, keep boundaries while caring about others, be self-sufficient while living in a healthy community, form a mutually enriching partnership, practice healthy habits…)

Finding a job that fulfills my desire to strengthen the world would be the best. That’s an ideal, but I hope it happens. When I have a job that makes me feel socially safe and productive and financially grounded, I can then begin to volunteer more frequently and give back to the community. I want to feel satisfied with my work climate, work dynamics and duties, and my compensation. 

Am I living my values now?

Is anybody fully living their values? I want the people who are fully living their values to mentor me please. I try my best. I am working on my values for optimal health. This involves a diet to maximize nutritionally dense food and feed my cells the elixir they need to function at full force. Working on body-spirit connections is also an important part of keeping myself in tip-top shape so I can live a meaningful life in order to die a peaceful death. 

What is required at the end of life?

It’s a private process. I hope I have people around me who care about my welfare when I am on my deathbed. I want to die at home and still have my wits about me. My death should not painful or ugly to witness. I imagine feeling at peace with the world at the time of death. Calm and loved ones are required. A cat cuddled up with me would be chocolate icing on my death cake. Dying feeling as if all is not hopeless or meaningless is important too. The person who is holding my hand as I die will love and care for my cat when I am gone. I will have loved and cared for the person holding my hand.

• To be emotionally and physically in balance until the end;
• To be independent and self-sufficient until the end;
• To not hurt physically or mentally (no suffering please);
• To not lose my cognitive abilities;
•  To have multigenerational friends by my side;
• To still drive and mingle in the social arena;
•  To drop over dead, boom, surprise, with my will and documents in place.

Is repentance required at death?

I don’t know. I would like to leave the earth granting forgiveness to those people who injured me because what the hell, but more importantly, I would like to exist in a state of acceptance for what is coming for me because I may not have control over my earthly departure. I may suffer. Buddha said suffering is inevitable, and it has been the experience of all human beings. Training and self-awareness has taught me to deal with suffering through my reactions to events and people. I do not want to fight death. Humans are not indestructible. If I can accept my own mortality, it is for the better.

Why get up tomorrow? What is my source of hope?

Because my body wakes me up, I arise. My cat wakes me up and needs food. My fish needs food. Living creatures depend upon me. I have an obligation to care for them and myself. I would like to develop more reasons to wake up and feel hope. Do mothers have hope because they love their children? Do Christians wake up and feel hope because they love Christ? Does an entrepreneur wake up and rush to work because he or she can’t wait to make more money or overpower the competition?

Getting up hopeful because I love something is different from getting up hopeful because I have hope in my heart. I am not really sure what it means to have hope in my heart. I don’t really believe that people are all that great. Absolute power corrupts after all. I equate hope with those goofy Christians who have a faith that cannot be scientifically proven, but it sure puts a smile on their faces. Their lack of doubt about a virgin birth and a man rising from the dead astounds me.

I am more of a fact finder, realist, soul searcher, doubter, challenger, asker of questions… one of those people. Sometimes I wonder if I make my life more complicated, but it is impossible for me to simplify my thought process and adopt the Christian ideal of faith in something that seems far-fetched to me.

The Good News of my personal theology is that it expresses itself as a mental attitude of openness and curiosity about new ideas and new possibilities. My Good News is that the human brain can contemplate limitless possibilities, imagine creative change, and has the potential to bring about positive growth in the world when ideas become reality.

My sources of wisdom include, but are not limited to: journalist and activist Michael Pollan; Buddha, the Dalia Lama, critic Noam Chomsky; Jonathon Kozol, bucking the system Michael Francis Moore, our own Amy Shaw, Doctors Without Borders, the White Helmets in Syria, (and all people who take personal risks while challenging harmful aspects of the status quo and blowing up the rhetoric and practice of hypocrisy while battling the fallout of corruption). I like what Elizabeth Warren stands for too during this political cycle. People come and go, but courage to speak truth and make change when that change involves bucking the status quo is a quality I admire. 

I find inspiration and wisdom in all types of writing- journalistic, legal, academic, literary, and more. In the earth's information age, there is always more to come! Sorting through the barrage of choices and finding what feeds my soul and helps me grow intellectually is the goal.