I began reading Hilary Thayer Hamann's novel Anthropology of an American Girl, and the main character's observations about life shook me into remembering how junior high and high school kids often stare unblinking, slicing through adult bullshit with their pupils, to uncover the naked decaying core at the center of many of life's situations.
Evie, a senior high school girl in the novel, described grief like this:
My eyes opened wide, admitting light from my mother's desk lamp. If you don't want to cry, you can stop yourself by looking into the light. It's better to keep grief inside. Grief inside works like bees or ants, building curious and perfect structures, complicating you. Grief outside means you want something from someone, and chances are good you won't get it (Hamann, p. 39).
As I was stirring to wakefulness this morning, I was dreaming of grief and loss [someone I trusted had stolen my favorite camera] and heard an NPR story about the evolution of human tears. Why do we cry? According to the story "Teary-Eyed Evolution: Crying Serves A Purpose," crying does serve a selfish human purpose.
From the story:
One theory is that crying may have evolved as a kind of signal — a signal that was valuable because it could only be picked up by those closest to us who could actually see our tears. Tears let our intimates in — people within a couple of feet of us, who would be more likely to help.
"Crying seems to elicit compassion and guilt, and that itself may be an evolved mechanism to save relationships in distress," said Jesse Bering, who directs the Institute of Cognition and Culture at Belfast University.
Tears can play an important role in communication, and the extraordinary thing is that tears don't just telegraph our state of mind to others — they can also evoke strong emotions in the people who witness them.
This illustrates another aspect of crying — whether it's intentional or unintentional, crying is a powerful way to get what you need or want.
Teary-Eyed Evolution: NPR
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